Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's official drugs can't kill me
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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