we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
