Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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