Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize