chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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