Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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