marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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