you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
