he shaved USA in his pubs
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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