Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I got inside last night via doggy door
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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