i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
