Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
