Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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