are you so shy because you have an std?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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