So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
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Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
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WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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