You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize
