i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
