Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I came so hard my ears popped.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
