8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
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I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
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she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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