My balls are so social today.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
