i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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