its not stalking. its research.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
