i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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