I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize