escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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