i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize