i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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