called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
