we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
