Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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