Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
