Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
