I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
