Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
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Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
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whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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