wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
