where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
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I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
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You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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