Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
