I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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