I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
