Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
