i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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