Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Mom said you looked used
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
