There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
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Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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