I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
