You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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