Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
cat food counts as protein by the way
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
