Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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