Kiss
Puke
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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