I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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