I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
