Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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