I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
