do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
