Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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