a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
