using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
