Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
