We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
