The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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