When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
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I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
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I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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