That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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